D\u00fcn gece, geceyar\u0131s\u0131na yak\u0131n, k\u00f6yde bir tur atay\u0131m, biraz y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f yapay\u0131m dedim\u2026 \u00c7ok severdim bu sokaklar\u0131, hele geceleyin. Sonra uzak d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm, bir sebep olmadan, hedef olmadan y\u00fcr\u00fcmez oldum. Oysa \u00f6yle olmaz ki! Buras\u0131 k\u00f6y: Biraz bo\u015f bo\u015f y\u00fcr\u00fcyeceksin.<\/p>\n
\u00d6nce \u00e7ar\u015f\u0131n\u0131n oldu\u011fu \u00fcst\u00fc kapal\u0131 sokaktan ge\u00e7tim, karanl\u0131k; k\u00f6\u015fede bakkal \u0130smet\u2019le selamla\u015ft\u0131k, Bozo\u2019yu \u00e7eki\u015ftirdik. Yemek veriyorum, yiyor ama hep insanlardan korkuyor, dedi, dedim o art\u0131k ya\u015fl\u0131 bir k\u00f6pek, her \u015feyden korkuyor, olacak o kadar, bundan iyisi \u015eam\u2019da kay\u0131s\u0131! \u015eikayet sevmiyorum, olumsuzluklardan, ke\u015fkelerden uzak duruyorum bu s\u0131ralar\u2026 Her \u015fey, oldu\u011fu gibi i\u015fte. Bizim ya\u015fl\u0131 teyzelerin kekik, kantaron ya\u011f\u0131 falan satt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yol ayr\u0131m\u0131ndan yukar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Erdem Pansiyon\u2019un k\u00f6\u015fesi. \u0130zmirli haydutun bir gece yar\u0131s\u0131 BMW\u2019siyle gelerek, pansiyonun sahibi ve k\u00f6y\u00fcn delisi Targu\u2019nun burnunu \u0131s\u0131rarak kopartt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ikiz \u00e7e\u015fme. Erdem Pansiyon, deli meli o zamanlar her ak\u015fam Targu taraf\u0131ndan mumlarla s\u00fcslenen muhte\u015fem teras\u0131, ta\u015f zemini, terasa sarkan meyve a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131, sediri ile bir cennet k\u00f6\u015fesiydi bana. Yan\u0131ndaki ufac\u0131k, oda kadar bah\u00e7ede Hasan\u2019la \u015eule babaanneleriyle b\u00fcy\u00fcrlerdi, seslerini dinlerdim hep, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en g\u00fclery\u00fczl\u00fc \u00e7ocuklar\u0131yd\u0131lar. B\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcler, birka\u00e7 sene evveldi Hasan \u015eule\u2019yle \u00e7\u0131kan \u00e7ocu\u011fu d\u00f6verek hastanelik etti.<\/p>\n
A\u015fa\u011f\u0131 bak\u0131yorum, Erdem\u2019in teras\u0131ndan g\u00f6r\u00fclen eski, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, hakiki k\u00f6y evlerine. \u0130\u015fte \u015fu pencereden sarkarak bir gen\u00e7 k\u0131z, \u201cAbbooovvv!\u201d diye hayk\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bir yaz ak\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc; d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne giden konvoyun \u00e7oktan kalkt\u0131\u011f\u0131 haberini al\u0131nca ellerini y\u00fcz\u00fcne bast\u0131rarak: \u201cAbbooovvv!\u201d Terasta koca ye\u015fil eriklerin alt\u0131nda seriliyordum ben, ku\u015flar\u0131n kavga ederek bah\u00e7eye d\u00fc\u015fmesini izliyordum. Kar\u015f\u0131daki bah\u00e7e kap\u0131s\u0131ndan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck Osman \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131 debelenerek y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye; soka\u011f\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn kad\u0131nlar\u0131, O\u015f\u015fmaaan, O\u015f\u015fmaaan diye seslenirlerdi\u2026 Ne yapt\u0131 Osman acaba, g\u00f6rsem de tan\u0131mam ki.<\/p>\n
Ama hemen yandaki harabeyi g\u00f6r\u00fcnce i\u00e7im c\u0131z etti, o g\u00fczelim \u015eirince evini, yok zeminini kazarak (k\u00f6t\u00fc ruhlar b\u00fcy\u00fcler saklam\u0131\u015flar!) yok \u00e7at\u0131 merte\u011fini keserek (karanl\u0131k enerjilerle ba\u011flant\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 kesmek gerekirmi\u015f!) zaman i\u00e7inde yerle bir eden deliye bir k\u00fcf\u00fcr sallad\u0131m. Ha, bir de yan binan\u0131n tepesine k\u00fck\u00fcrt torbalar\u0131 atard\u0131, o evdekilerin \u201ck\u00f6t\u00fc enerjilerinden\u201d korunmak i\u00e7in\u2026<\/p>\n
Neyse ki hemen biti\u015fi\u011findeki P\u0131nar ablan\u0131n evi yeni restore edildi, bir yak\u0131n\u0131 alm\u0131\u015f, hem elden ge\u00e7irmi\u015f, hem istedi\u011finde gelip kalabiliyormu\u015f P\u0131nar abla da. Kar\u015f\u0131yakal\u0131 bir ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131n kendisi, Targu\u2019nun annesiyle ahbapt\u0131, o vesileyle alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bu evi, \u00e7ok severdi \u015eirince\u2019yi. Ge\u00e7en se\u00e7imde g\u00f6rd\u00fcm oy atmaya geldi\u011finde, iyice ya\u015flanm\u0131\u015f, biraz kopmu\u015ftu ger\u00e7eklerden. Annesini \u015eirince mezarl\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6md\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc ta o zaman \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde.<\/p>\n
Ee, iki ad\u0131m att\u0131m bu sefer de Diva Pansiyon yaz\u0131s\u0131 bir rahmetli an\u0131s\u0131yla kar\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131?! K\u00f6y halk\u0131n\u0131n hi\u00e7 \u00e7ekinmeden Kekilli dedikleri Vedat bey, g\u00fczel \u00fcst\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131k cipiyle, hemen her g\u00fcn durup zeytinlikleri seyrederek gazete okumay\u0131 sevdi\u011fi k\u00f6y yolunda ge\u00e7irdi\u011fi trafik kazas\u0131nda \u00f6nce fel\u00e7li kald\u0131, sonra aram\u0131zdan ayr\u0131ld\u0131\u2026 Bir bayram g\u00fcn\u00fcyd\u00fc, s\u00e2l\u00e2s\u0131n\u0131 duydum evde, \u201cAhhhh,\u201d dedim, \u201co iyile\u015fecekti oysa, bekliyorduk!\u201d \u00dcz\u00fcld\u00fcm, dua ettim arkas\u0131ndan. Kar\u0131s\u0131 daha ne kadar u\u011fra\u015f\u0131r acaba bu pansiyonu i\u015fletmekle, ne zaman satar ederinin \u00fcst\u00fcnde bir fiyata, \u0130zmir rahat\u0131nda emekli hayat\u0131na ge\u00e7er?<\/p>\n
Hemen k\u00f6\u015fede, yine rahmetli t\u00fcfek\u00e7i Orcan\u2019\u0131n evi. Bir iki kere, daha av hayat\u0131ma ba\u015flamadan, t\u00fcfek sorunu i\u00e7in t\u00fcfek g\u00f6ndermi\u015fli\u011fim vard\u0131r. \u201cAnad\u0131n m\u0131,\u201d dermi\u015f Orcan s\u00fcrekli, iki kelimenin biri: Gidiyoruz, anad\u0131n m\u0131, yoldan kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za, anad\u0131n m\u0131, iki tane domuz, anad\u0131n m\u0131\u2026 Taklidini yaparlard\u0131, g\u00fclerdik \u00e7ok. Hemen yukarda, asmal\u0131 avlulu moderen evinde \u0130lhan abi g\u00fczel k\u0131z\u0131 Aleyna\u2019y\u0131 yeti\u015ftirdi; sonra Sel\u00e7uk\u2019a gittiler: K\u00f6yl\u00fcler Sel\u00e7uk\u2019a gitmeyi s\u0131n\u0131f atlamak sayar, \u015f\u00f6yle bir gururla dikelirler, \u201cSel\u00e7uk\u2019a ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131k art\u0131k,\u201d derken. \u00dcz\u00fcl\u00fcr\u00fcm hep.<\/p>\n
\u0130lkanlar\u0131n pansiyon, yeni restore edilen eski kilise, \u0130lkan\u2019\u0131n g\u00fcne\u015fin aln\u0131ndaki araba camlar\u0131na serinlesin diye su tutarak art arda \u00fc\u00e7 araban\u0131n \u00f6n camlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7atlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 otopark. Antikac\u0131 Zeki beyin (s\u00f6ylemek istemiyorum ama o da rahmetli asl\u0131nda!) o\u011flu Umut\u2019un ke\u00e7e d\u00fckkan\u0131 yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131, Meral ablan\u0131n eski Eren \u015earapevi. Grek Kafe, en ilk \u015eirince an\u0131lar\u0131m. Bu sokaklar, alt\u0131ndaki aral\u0131ktan gidilen \u015eirince Evleri, masal bah\u00e7esi gibi, \u00e7e\u015fmesi, at arabas\u0131yla, teras\u0131yla.<\/p>\n
Ama hepsinden \u00f6nemlisi, bir ak\u015fam \u00f6ylesine y\u00fcr\u00fcrken kendimi d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en huzurlu, en g\u00fcvende insan\u0131 hissetti\u011fim yerler, bu sokaklar. 10 sene mi oldu, 12, 13 m\u00fc? Hayat\u0131mda o kadar huzurlu, o kadar g\u00fcvende hissetmemi\u015ftim hi\u00e7 kendimi. B\u00fcy\u00fck\u015fehirden geliyordum. Herkesin acelesi vard\u0131 orda, art niyetleri vard\u0131, \u00e7emkirmeleri vard\u0131. \u00d6ylesine a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r dolanarak y\u00fcr\u00fcmek, sokakta kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n karalt\u0131ya sakince \u201c\u0130yi ak\u015famlar,\u201d demek, evinin \u00f6n\u00fcnde oturanla kap\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131ndaki a\u011fa\u00e7tan konu\u015fmak, bir sincab\u0131 izlemek, bir domuzu dinlemek yoktu. Bu sokaklarda tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131m bunlarla. Minnettarl\u0131\u011f\u0131m sonsuz.<\/p>\n
Sonra ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn, \u015funu yazm\u0131\u015f\u0131m notlar\u0131ma:<\/p>\n
I am, as I am, where I am.*<\/p>\n
*Ben\u2019im, oldu\u011fum gibiyim, oldu\u011fum yerdeyim.<\/p>\n
Bir r\u00f6portajda sormu\u015flar, \u201cEn \u00e7ok ne zaman mutlusunuz?\u201d D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm: \u015eimdi, ve az evvel, ve biraz sonra. K\u00f6peklerimle oynarken, g\u00fcne\u015fin bat\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 izlerken, y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131n parlakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcrken, ba\u011f\u0131ran tilkiyi dinlerken, lavantalara, r\u00fczgarda sal\u0131n\u0131\u015flar\u0131na bakarken, domatesleri sularken, g\u00fczel bir ezan okunurken\u2026 Ama en \u00e7ok, g\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda tek bir ku\u015fun yuvas\u0131na do\u011fru u\u00e7u\u015funu izlerken.<\/p>\n
Ben oldu\u011fum i\u00e7in, oldu\u011fum gibi oldu\u011fum i\u00e7in, oldu\u011fum yerde oldu\u011fum i\u00e7in hayata minnettarl\u0131\u011f\u0131m sonsuz.<\/p>\n
(Haziran 2015)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
D\u00fcn gece, geceyar\u0131s\u0131na yak\u0131n, k\u00f6yde bir tur atay\u0131m, biraz y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f yapay\u0131m dedim\u2026 \u00c7ok severdim bu sokaklar\u0131, hele geceleyin. Sonra uzak d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm, bir sebep olmadan, hedef…<\/p>\n