…Diye ba\u015flayan ba\u015fka yaz\u0131lar yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m san\u0131r\u0131m. Yazm\u0131\u015f\u0131md\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu kerata gider gider gelir, her sene, yine yeni yeniden gelir. Her seferinde ilk kezmi\u015f gibi taptaze.<\/p>\n
Bu sabah, banyo penceresinin i\u00e7indeki kara, piremsi b\u00f6ceklerimin \u00e7o\u011fald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce anlad\u0131m vaktin geldi\u011fini: Bahar, aram\u0131zda! Sonra, g\u00fcn yeni a\u011farm\u0131\u015fken d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p hava ald\u0131\u011f\u0131mda duydu\u011fum \u201cg\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc\u201d geldi akl\u0131ma. Ku\u015flar\u0131n c\u0131v\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131ndan durulmuyordu adeta! Nerden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 bunlar, dedim, \u0131ss\u0131zl\u0131k bir anda nas\u0131l bu hale gelebilir?.. B\u00fct\u00fcn k\u0131\u015f nefesini tutmu\u015f gibi bekleyen do\u011fa nas\u0131l ba\u011fr\u0131nmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 birden?..<\/p>\n
Diyordum i\u015fte, herhalde mart faland\u0131, ani bahar ataklar\u0131 oldu\u011funa g\u00f6re. Sonra araya bir \u015feyler girdi \u2013 hep girer zaten, bahar\u0131n hep bir \u015feyler girer araya, \u00e7ok me\u015fgul zamanlard\u0131r baharlar \u2013 ancak da \u015fimdiye tekrar a\u00e7\u0131labildi bahar dosyas\u0131. \u0130lki ge\u00e7mi\u015f, sonuna girilmi\u015fken. Eyl\u00fcl\u00fcn 23\u2019\u00fc gelmek \u00fczere, sonbahar\u0131n giri\u015f kap\u0131s\u0131 – ilkokul s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n duvarlar\u0131ndaki mevsim tablolar\u0131n\u0131 bir hat\u0131rlay\u0131n!<\/p>\n
O s\u0131rada duyulan hesaps\u0131z, ani co\u015fku yerini az sonra, sakince daha d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncevari heyecanlara b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131: Yak\u0131nda sevdi\u011fim kirazlar \u00e7\u0131kar. Bir ara denize a\u00e7\u0131lsak. Beyaz bacaklar\u0131 g\u00fcne\u015fe uzatman\u0131n tam zaman\u0131. Vb. Sonra k\u00f6pekleri keneler bast\u0131, hah, dedik, geldi i\u015fte! Sonra \u00e7at\u0131larda s\u0131\u00e7anlar fink atmaya ba\u015flad\u0131, m\u00fccadeleye giri\u015fildi, sa\u011fda solda ani cesetler belirmeye ba\u015flad\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n
S\u0131rada b\u00fclb\u00fcller geldi, \u00f6zellikle gece yatmadan, \u00f6zellikle yan\u0131ba\u015f\u0131mdaki vadinin kuytusundan, \u00f6zellikle deli gibi. Bu arada ye\u015filler parlad\u0131, papatyalar p\u0131tlad\u0131, a\u011fa\u00e7lar da bomba gibi patlad\u0131: erikler, kay\u0131s\u0131lar, \u00e7amlar, i\u011fdeler, selviler, zeytinler, hepsi ye\u015filin yeni tonlar\u0131yla boyand\u0131. Y\u00f6remizin \u201cmavi enerji\u201dsi, yani g\u00f6zta\u015f\u0131, b\u00fct\u00fcn a\u011fa\u00e7lara sa\u011fl\u0131k vermek \u00fczere i\u015fe koyuldu.<\/p>\n
Sonra may\u0131s girdi… May\u0131s hep aniden girer. \u00d6tekiler hemen hep beklenir, g\u00fcn say\u0131l\u0131r, g\u00f6z kap\u0131dad\u0131r ama may\u0131s hep ani girer.<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015fte sonra ver elini \u00f6tekiler \u2013 ye\u015fil, s\u0131cak, deniz, mavi, yol, ten, ter, a\u015fk\u2026 Kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde kokular\u0131n kar\u0131\u015fmas\u0131, karanfil, i\u011fde, \u0131slak k\u00f6pek, yan\u0131k odun, sar\u0131l\u0131 beyazl\u0131 han\u0131meli, \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fck sebze, \u00e7ay belki. Sakin, sade, sessiz hayat. Hayat, ta kendisi.<\/p>\n
\u0130lhan Berk\u2019i daha az anmak, hayata ihanet olur. Hakk\u0131m yok, bana \u015fiirin hayat\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015famay\u0131 g\u00f6stermi\u015fken onu daha az anmaya. Delta ve \u00c7ocuk dizelerini an\u0131msamamaya. \u201cBir k\u0131rlang\u0131\u00e7 bir su birikintisi bir par\u00e7a g\u00f6k. \/ Bir \u015fiirden d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f olmal\u0131 bunlar.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n
<\/i>(mart 2013\/eyl\u00fcl 2014)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
…Diye ba\u015flayan ba\u015fka yaz\u0131lar yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m san\u0131r\u0131m. Yazm\u0131\u015f\u0131md\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu kerata gider gider gelir, her sene, yine yeni yeniden gelir. Her seferinde ilk kezmi\u015f gibi taptaze.…<\/p>\n