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(\u2026) Siz, saatleri ya\u015fad\u0131n\u0131z. Hen\u00fcz s\u00f6zc\u00fck haline d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmemi\u015f, ya da bir s\u00f6zc\u00fck kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 olu\u015fmam\u0131\u015f durumlar yaratt\u0131n\u0131z. Tan\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131m.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Aylar aylar\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131yor.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Saatler saatleri kum saatiyle a\u00e7\u0131klayabiliyor.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n A\u00e7\u0131klanmayan tek \u015fey a\u015fk: En b\u00fcy\u00fck sayr\u0131l\u0131k ve en b\u00fcy\u00fck sa\u011fl\u0131k\u2026 (Cemal S\u00fcreya)<\/i><\/p>\n *<\/p>\n (\u2026) Her yer birine ait, tellendirilmi\u015f,\u00a0duvarland\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, tapuya ba\u011flanm\u0131\u015f, may\u0131nlanm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n Denizlerin bile hudutlar\u0131, sahipleri var.<\/p>\n D\u00fcnya atmosfer ile s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131.<\/p>\n Asteroitler ve k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck gezegenlerle dolu Kuiper Ku\u015fa\u011f\u0131 adl\u0131 b\u00f6lge, g\u00fcne\u015f\u00a0ve gezegenleri i\u00e7ine alan alan\u0131n hududunu meydana getiriyor.<\/p>\n Onun d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda Samanyolu Galaksisi ve onun da d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda, her\u00a0\u015feyi i\u00e7ine alan k\u00e2inat var.<\/p>\n Veya bize \u00f6yle geliyor: Her\u00a0\u015feyi bir\u00a0\u015feyin i\u00e7inde s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131\u00a0san\u0131yoruz.<\/p>\n Ama bu bir yan\u0131lg\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n Bir\u00a0\u015feye isim vermek o\u00a0\u015feyi s\u0131n\u0131rland\u0131rmak, onu di\u011fer her\u00a0\u015feyden ay\u0131rmak demektir.<\/p>\n Hudutlarla ba\u015flay\u0131p, biten\u00a0\u015feylere\u00a0kendimizi\u00a0\u015fartland\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u00e7in,\u00a0i\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fumuz bo\u015flu\u011fun s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 var san\u0131yoruz.<\/p>\n Bir\u00a0\u015feye isim vermek o\u00a0\u015feyi s\u0131n\u0131rland\u0131rmak, onu di\u011fer her\u00a0\u015feyden ay\u0131rmak demektir.<\/p>\n Ama varl\u0131kta s\u0131n\u0131r yoktur ve her\u00a0\u015fey isimsizdir.<\/p>\n S\u0131n\u0131r insan\u0131n uydurdu\u011fu bir konsept, isim insan\u0131n koydu\u011fu\u00a0bir\u00a0\u015feydir.<\/p>\n M\u00fclkiyet do\u011fal bir fenomen de\u011fil insan\u0131n yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir hastal\u0131kt\u0131r.<\/p>\n B\u00fct\u00fcn s\u0131n\u0131rlar akl\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n i\u00e7indedir.<\/p>\n Bah\u00e7eye \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda g\u00f6k kubbenin alt\u0131nda de\u011filim.<\/p>\n Ba\u015f\u0131 ve sonu olmayan bir\u00a0\u015feyin i\u00e7indeyim, sa\u00e7lar\u0131m sonsuzlu\u011fa de\u011fiyor.<\/p>\n (Metin M\u00fcnir, T24)<\/i><\/p>\n S\u0131n\u0131rlardan, kendini \u00e7iftle\u015fmek ve \u00e7o\u011falmakla, \u00e7ift olmak ve s\u0131fatland\u0131rmakla s\u0131n\u0131rlayan a\u015fktan \u00e7ok uzaktay\u0131m ben bug\u00fcnlerde. Olanla olabilecek aras\u0131ndaki, kendimle di\u011ferleri aras\u0131ndaki s\u0131n\u0131r pek hafif, pek u\u00e7ucu, ben diye bir \u015fey var m\u0131, a\u015fktan ba\u015fka bir \u015fey var m\u0131, idrakinde de\u011filim\u2026<\/p>\n Be\u015fikta\u015f trafik \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131nda durmu\u015f, yayalara ye\u015fil yanmas\u0131n\u0131 bekliyorum\u2026 Kafam\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131yorum, kar\u015f\u0131mda kahkaha atarak gelen bir gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n. Yana bak\u0131yorum, belli ki kendisiyle e\u011flenerek arkada\u015f\u0131na bir \u015fey anlatan bir adam. Yahu diyorum, bunlar\u0131n surats\u0131z\u0131, mutsuzu, meymenetsizi nerede bu canavar \u015fehirde?! G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00fcz\u00fcyorum, rengarenk \u00e7\u0131nar yapraklar\u0131ndan yat\u0131k g\u00fcne\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131nlar\u0131na, deniz kokular\u0131ndan mart\u0131 seslerine tonlarca mutluluk etkeniyle dolu. Nas\u0131l c\u00f6mert bir d\u00fcnya bu, nas\u0131l -arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131n dedi\u011fi gibi- sen verdik\u00e7e sana fazlas\u0131yla veren. Sen g\u00f6rd\u00fck\u00e7e.<\/p>\n Ge\u00e7en sene bug\u00fcnlerde, bamba\u015fka bir insand\u0131m\u2026 M\u0131 acaba? Yani ben ayn\u0131yd\u0131m tabii asl\u0131nda da, kendimi ba\u015fka terimlerle, ba\u015fka kavramlarla, ba\u015fka insanlarla tan\u0131mlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Belki, yani muhtemelen, tan\u0131mlamak i\u00e7in kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131m terimler ve insanlar nedeniyle ben de kendimi ba\u015fka g\u00f6r\u00fcyordum\u2026 Sonras\u0131, \u201c5 dakikada de\u011fi\u015fir b\u00fct\u00fcn i\u015fler,\u201d Mazhar Alanson\u2019un dedi\u011fi gibi!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI was one thing and then I was another\u2026*\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n Son d\u00f6nemde, \u015f\u00fck\u00fcrler olsun, kendimi biraz daha yak\u0131ndan g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Do\u011frusu bu s\u00fcre\u00e7te ba\u011f\u0131rsaklar\u0131m\u0131 de\u015fip masan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne koymam ve yeniden yerle\u015ftirmem gerekti, ho\u015f de\u011fildi tabii, biraz bka batma vard\u0131 i\u015fin i\u00e7inde. Ama sonras\u0131, yepyeni bir insan ve ferah bir gelecek\u2026 \u201cTotal emancipation**\u201d<\/i>. Bklu k\u0131sm\u0131nda tak\u0131l\u0131p kalmay\u0131nca, a\u00e7\u0131lan yeni kap\u0131lar. \u00d6m\u00fcr boyu tepende sallanan sorumluluklar\u0131n, s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n, s\u0131fatlar\u0131n ha\u015f\u0131rt diye yok olmas\u0131. Ger\u00e7ek \u00f6zg\u00fcrle\u015fme.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u00d6zg\u00fcrle\u015ftik\u00e7e, hamdolsun, \u2018bir a\u015fk denizine bal\u0131klama dalm\u0131\u015f s\u00fcz\u00fclerek gidiyor olma\u2019 hissine daha s\u0131k, daha uzun giriyorum. Tepeden t\u0131rna\u011fa, sa\u00e7\u0131m\u0131n ucundan aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131n t\u0131rna\u011f\u0131na kadar sevgi oldu\u011fum, a\u015fk oldu\u011fum anlar var. Her t\u00fcrl\u00fc karanl\u0131ktan muaf. Bir se\u00e7im hakk\u0131m varsa, evet efendim, ben \u00f6yle olmak, \u00f6yle kalmak istiyorum. \u201cHi\u00e7 kar ya\u011fmas\u0131n g\u00fcne\u015fli kirpiklerine,\u201d diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm birinin hep d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncemde olmas\u0131n\u0131, hep yan\u0131mda yamac\u0131mda olmas\u0131n\u0131, yan\u0131mda olmasa dahi d\u00fcnyada var olmas\u0131n\u0131 ve g\u00fcne\u015fte olmas\u0131n\u0131 ve \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n bana ula\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 istiyorum – ne g\u00fczel, ne mutlu bana!..<\/p>\n Ve, buyrunuz efendim beyan ediyorum bir kez daha, olmam gerekti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcz gibi asla olmayaca\u011f\u0131m! Hi\u00e7 mi tan\u0131mad\u0131n\u0131z beni? Ger\u00e7ekten i\u00e7imden gelmeyen tek bir kelime sarf etmeyece\u011fim ve ger\u00e7ekten i\u00e7imden gelmeyen tek bir harekette bulunmayaca\u011f\u0131m. Misal, bunun gibi dam kap\u0131 giden bir yaz\u0131y\u0131 hizaya koymaya debelenmeyece\u011fim. Hayat\u0131mda yer almay\u0131 hak etmeyen insanlara, s\u0131rf team\u00fcl gere\u011fi, buyrun gelin tekrar tekrar orta yerine s\u00e7abilirsiniz, demeyece\u011fim. Ve g\u00fcnlerime \u0131\u015f\u0131k katan birine bir ad, s\u0131fat, anlam vermek i\u00e7in k\u0131rk takla atmayaca\u011f\u0131m.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAnd I walked off an old me\u2026***\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n \u0130\u015fte, yeni bir ke\u015ffim var bug\u00fcnlerde: \u0131\u015f\u0131k. Bir insan\u0131n suretinde mi demeli? Sadece onu de\u011fil, onunla birlikte yeni beni ke\u015ffettim, ke\u015ffediyorum ben bug\u00fcnlerde… Evet hep bir aray\u0131\u015f i\u00e7indeydim -\u015fu anda \u015fimdiki zaman\u0131 kullanam\u0131yorum, \u015fu anda bir eksiklik hissetmiyorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc: 5 dakikada de\u011fi\u015fir b\u00fct\u00fcn i\u015fler!- ve onunla birlikte arad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131, i\u00e7imdeki iyiyi, g\u00fczeli, do\u011fruyu buldum, onunla birlikte, hem de bir anda, i\u00e7im yumu\u015fad\u0131, aa, dedim, hayat ne kolay bir \u015feymi\u015f b\u00f6yle, evren bir hafifledi, g\u00fcnler, g\u00fczellikler havada u\u00e7u\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131…<\/p>\n Bunca zaman ne \u00f6\u011frendik biz? \u201cA\u015fk imi\u015f her ne var alemde, ilm bir kil-\u00fc-kal imi\u015f ancak.\u201d A\u015fktan ba\u015fka, \u0131\u015f\u0131ktan ba\u015fka, ger\u00e7ek, bizi t\u00fcm insanlar\u0131 ve varolan her \u015feyi sevmeye y\u00f6nlendiren a\u015fktan ba\u015fka hi\u00e7bir \u015feye kulak vermemeyi \u00f6\u011frenmedik mi? Ona rastlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda -onu var etti\u011fimizde- de\u011ferini bilmeyi, ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131z \u00fcst\u00fcne koymay\u0131, onsuz her yerden ve herkesten uzak durmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmedik mi? \u015eimdi kim bana a\u015fk d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda talimat verecekmi\u015f, ne beni y\u00fcre\u011fimin sesinden farkl\u0131 bir yere g\u00f6t\u00fcrecekmi\u015f, \u015fa\u015far\u0131m!..<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Sonra bir r\u00fcya g\u00f6rd\u00fcm misal. Benim evime, benden izinsiz girmi\u015fler! Bir tak\u0131m ba\u015fka insanlar\u0131n demesiyle gelmi\u015fler, benim hi\u00e7bir i\u015fime yaramayan \u015feyler yap\u0131yorlar, hatta beni rahats\u0131z eden\u2026 Yok can\u0131m?! Hemen toparlan\u0131yorum anl\u0131k \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131ktan sonra: Ya burda benim kurallar\u0131mla kal\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z ya da hemen \u015fu an gidersiniz, bir daha da y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc g\u00f6rmeyece\u011fim\u2026 Benim evime, benim hayat\u0131ma benden izinsiz olarak bana hi\u00e7bir yarar\u0131 dokunmayacak, bana hi\u00e7bir g\u00fczellik getirmeyecek insanlar hay\u0131r, asla girmedi, girmeyecek, giremeyecek!<\/p>\n Sadece \u0131\u015f\u0131k, her zaman \u0131\u015f\u0131k, hep ger\u00e7ek, temiz, saf \u0131\u015f\u0131k\u2026<\/p>\n (Ocak 2019)<\/p>\n Nesneler bizim onlara y\u00fckledi\u011fimiz anlamlardan ibarettir. \u0130nsanlar da \u00f6yle. (John Berger) (\u2026) Siz, saatleri ya\u015fad\u0131n\u0131z. Hen\u00fcz s\u00f6zc\u00fck haline d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmemi\u015f, ya da bir s\u00f6zc\u00fck kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 olu\u015fmam\u0131\u015f…<\/p>\n– Ba\u015fl\u0131k, Yeni T\u00fcrk\u00fc\u2019n\u00fcn Yitik Bahar \u015fark\u0131s\u0131ndan esinle.<\/h6>\n
*Bir \u015feydim, sonra ba\u015fka bir \u015fey.<\/h6>\n
**Tam \u00f6zg\u00fcrle\u015fme \/ azat olma.<\/h6>\n
***Eski bir benden s\u0131yr\u0131l\u0131p uzakla\u015ft\u0131m.<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"