{"id":796,"date":"2026-08-26T23:23:27","date_gmt":"2026-08-26T20:23:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/?p=796"},"modified":"2026-08-26T23:24:08","modified_gmt":"2026-08-26T20:24:08","slug":"yagmur-geliyor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/index.php\/2026\/08\/26\/yagmur-geliyor\/","title":{"rendered":"Ya\u011fmur geliyor\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

En tepede oturuyorum, binan\u0131n tepesindeki teras\u0131n kenar\u0131nda, iki elimle tutup \u00fcst\u00fcne s\u0131\u00e7rayarak ula\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m korkuluklar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde. Nefes alamadan, hayranl\u0131kla a\u011fz\u0131m a\u00e7\u0131k etraf\u0131ma bak\u0131n\u0131yorum. G\u00fcneye, bat\u0131ya do\u011fru uzanan tropikal ormanlara. Ad\u0131n\u0131 san\u0131n\u0131 bilmedi\u011fim, zerre kadar a\u015fina olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fini meyvesini, rengini mevsimini bilmedi\u011fim a\u011fa\u00e7lara, \u00e7al\u0131lara, bitkilere\u2026 Her birini tek tek inceliyorum, ye\u015filinin tonunu, y\u00fcksekli\u011fini ve \u015feklini, kom\u015fusuyla ili\u015fkisini. Her birini i\u00e7ime \u00e7ekiyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ayaklar\u0131m\u0131 sall\u0131yorum, alt\u0131mdaki bo\u015flukta, \u00fc\u00e7 kat a\u015fa\u011f\u0131dan buraya ula\u015fm\u0131\u015f kalp \u015fekilli kadife yumu\u015fakl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndaki yapraklar\u0131n aras\u0131nda. Ayaklar\u0131m\u0131 sallay\u0131nca akl\u0131ma Rana han\u0131m geliyor, onun a\u011f\u0131rba\u015fl\u0131 piyanosunun \u00f6n\u00fcndeki siyah deri kapl\u0131, raptiyeli tabure ve onun \u00fcst\u00fcnde oturarak ayaklar\u0131n\u0131 sallayan 6-7 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki Candan: \u201cAyaklar\u0131n\u0131 sallama evlad\u0131m.\u201d Nerden nereye, diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum, Rana han\u0131m\u0131n piyano taburesinden Bali\u2019de tropik ormanlar\u0131 seyreden Candan\u2019a\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hani anneannemiz do\u011fdu\u011funda onun bedeninde varm\u0131\u015f\u0131z ya yumurtan\u0131n yumurtas\u0131n\u0131n yumurtas\u0131 olarak, \u00f6yle, diyorum, orada, Te\u015fvikiye\u2019deki o darac\u0131k yoku\u015fun \u00fcst\u00fcndeki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, karanl\u0131k dairede oturup ayaklar\u0131n\u0131 sallayan Candan\u2019da \u015fu anki Candan\u2019\u0131n t\u00fcm unsurlar\u0131 var m\u0131yd\u0131 yani? B\u00fct\u00fcn yapt\u0131klar\u0131m ve yapmad\u0131klar\u0131m, olduklar\u0131m ve olmad\u0131klar\u0131m, ba\u015fard\u0131klar\u0131m ve \u00e7uvallad\u0131klar\u0131m\u2026 Olabilir mi? Belki de Rana han\u0131ma sormak gerekti, veya derste s\u0131ralar\u0131n alt\u0131ndan s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n \u00f6b\u00fcr ucuna ula\u015f\u0131p arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 ayartt\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan \u015fikayet eden ilkokul \u00f6\u011fretmenim G\u00fcl\u00e7in han\u0131ma. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ormanlar\u0131, a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131, \u00e7i\u00e7ek renklerini seyretmeye devam ediyorum. Biliyorum ki \u015fu an ne kadar sonsuz ve s\u0131radan g\u00f6r\u00fcnseler de, bu adadan \u201cger\u00e7ek hayata\u201d d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde fevkaladenin fevkinde kalacaklar ve bu anlar, bu kokular ve sesler ve g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcler tahayy\u00fcl edilebilecek en s\u0131rad\u0131\u015f\u0131 \u015feyler olarak paha bi\u00e7ilmez hale gelecek. Onlar\u0131 depoluyorum i\u00e7imde, ayn\u0131 zamanda depolan\u0131rken i\u00e7imi, geldi\u011fim topraklar\u0131n bir evlad\u0131 olarak i\u00e7imde do\u011fu\u015ftan var olan karanl\u0131klar\u0131, sisleri de belki ye\u015ferteceklerini, renklendireceklerini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek. Organik ev \u00e7at\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131, grup grup bambular\u0131, i\u00e7i\u00e7e ge\u00e7mi\u015f bah\u00e7eleri, uzak sokaklardaki s\u00fcs s\u0131r\u0131klar\u0131 penjorlar\u0131 takip ediyorum bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131mla, kuzeybat\u0131daki da\u011flar\u0131, g\u00fcneydeki bulutlar\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

R\u00fczgar -nerdeyse Simyac\u0131\u2019da tarif edildi\u011fi gibi, aniden, talimat alm\u0131\u015f gibi d\u00fczenli bir \u015fekilde- art\u0131yor. Korkulu\u011fun \u00fcst\u00fcnde yerim iyi. En geni\u015f manzaram\u0131n oldu\u011fu k\u00f6\u015feden bu yana do\u011fru kapkara bir bulut grubu geliyor, r\u00fczgara e\u015flik ederek. \u201cYa\u011fmur geliyor,\u201d diyorum kendi kendime \u00e7ok kati bir \u015fekilde\u2026 Kothbiro!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tam be\u015f y\u0131l \u00f6nce, bu diyarlara ilk geldi\u011fimde, d\u00fcnya g\u00fczeli bir yoga st\u00fcdyosunda d\u00fcnya harikas\u0131 bir hocayla yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m son ders, derste \u00e7alan ve beni kendimden ge\u00e7iren \u015fark\u0131. Ders sonras\u0131 hocama veda ederken sorup ad\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fim, b\u00f6ylece sonraki aylarda, hatta y\u0131llarda beni pandeminin k\u00f6t\u00fc etkilerinden koruyan, kollayan, bana umut verip beni her \u015feyin g\u00fczel oldu\u011fu anlara geri g\u00f6t\u00fcren Kothbiro. S\u00f6zlerinin anlam\u0131, \u201cYa\u011fmur geliyor.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u00f6ylemeye ba\u015fl\u0131yorum, be\u015f y\u0131lda hakim oldu\u011fum ezberle. O an yap\u0131lacak ba\u015fka bir \u015fey yok zaten. Ya, haye haye, haye haye, haye haye… R\u00fczgar -kitaptaki gibi- her an \u015fiddetleniyor, kara bulutlar h\u0131zla tam \u00fczerimize geliyor. Bug\u00fcn Nyepi, Hindu y\u0131lba\u015f\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fc, Bali adas\u0131nda \u00e7\u0131t \u00e7\u0131km\u0131yor, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey k\u0131p\u0131rdam\u0131yor. Bulutlar hari\u00e7. Az sonra bo\u015falan ya\u011fmur aday\u0131 tertemiz, yepyeni bir y\u0131l i\u00e7in y\u0131k\u0131yor, bereket i\u00e7in besliyor, ar\u0131nma i\u00e7in toprakl\u0131yor. \u0130yi ki geliyor ya\u011fmur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Burada adada, hi\u00e7 kimse hi\u00e7bir \u015feyden \u015fikayet etmiyor. \u00d6yle bir kavramlar\u0131 yok. Benim yakla\u015f\u0131k 50 y\u0131lda sindirdi\u011fim \u201cOlan oldu\u011fu gibidir,\u201d ilkesi onlar\u0131n ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n temel dire\u011fi: Niye \u015fikayet, olan oldu\u011fu gibiyse? Beklemek ve ummak da yok, velev ki d\u00fc\u015f k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve olumsuzlu\u011fa yol a\u00e7s\u0131n\u2026 \u201cHava a\u00e7\u0131k olursa, terasta uzan\u0131p \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nca parlayan y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131 izleriz.\u201d Nyepi\u2019de \u0131\u015f\u0131k nerdeyse yak\u0131lm\u0131yor, kapkaranl\u0131k adan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fc y\u0131ld\u0131zlarla kaplan\u0131yor. Ama bug\u00fcn hava kapal\u0131. Olsun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ben de o halde, her \u015feyin tohumunun di\u011fer her \u015feyin i\u00e7inde olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ya\u015famlar\u0131n tesad\u00fcfler, s\u00fcrprizler, \u00e7ok \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar veya talihsizliklerle \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nca ve beklenmedik d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fler mi ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yoksa alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131nda piyano taburesinde ayaklar\u0131n\u0131 sallayan Candan\u2019\u0131n elli alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131nda Bali\u2019nin tropik ormanlar\u0131na bakarak ayaklar\u0131n\u0131 sallayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131n tam o anda katiyetle belli mi oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcneyim\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(3\/2025)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

En tepede oturuyorum, binan\u0131n tepesindeki teras\u0131n kenar\u0131nda, iki elimle tutup \u00fcst\u00fcne s\u0131\u00e7rayarak ula\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m korkuluklar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde. Nefes alamadan, hayranl\u0131kla a\u011fz\u0131m a\u00e7\u0131k etraf\u0131ma bak\u0131n\u0131yorum. G\u00fcneye, bat\u0131ya do\u011fru…<\/p>\n

Devam\u0131 i\u00e7in…Ya\u011fmur geliyor\u2026<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/796"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=796"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/796\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":797,"href":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/796\/revisions\/797"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=796"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=796"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.candanturhan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=796"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}